3's outbound sales people can only add new lines? Crazy!

I just had a phone call from 3 again. Do you remember last time, they phoned to offer me a special deal. The deal was something like X minutes, X texts, for £15 a month. I remember last time telling them, “No thanks, but I’d very much like to buy an iPad from you,” (and actually, a whole lot more). Unfortunately the chap who was calling couldn’t help me.

(See: “Three UK: Fascinating example of a missed sales opportunity“)

Well, it was the same again this afternoon. This time it was a lady, Samantha, calling from India.

“Is there anyone there on PAYG that you’d like to add as a new line?”

“No, I don’t need a new line,” I said, “But I would like to discuss upgrading my existing lines.”

I have 3 different contracts with them.

This is exactly the same as I told the guy who phoned a few months ago.

The lady was very polite.

“I’m afraid I can’t help you there,” she said, “You will need to speak to the Upgrades department.”

Well that’s hardly helpful is it, I thought, if you’re calling to get more business from me?

Anyway. This one surprised me:

“Would you like a new laptop or an iPad?” she asked.

Now then, if she’d been offering a MacBook Air? Yes. But she wasn’t. She was, I suspect (although I didn’t ask) offering one of those laptops the company sells.

“As for an iPad,” I answered, “I’ve just bought one from Vodafone two weeks ago, sorry.”

(Read also: “Vodafone: A fascinating example of a super sales approach“)

“Do you want another one?” She asked.

“Alas no,” I said.

I was being good.

I thanked her. She thanked me and I hung up.

Dear me.

What a shame.

So once again, an outbound sales call seems to mean “add a new line” as far as 3 are concerned.

This time, though, at least the lady was talking about iPads. Alas my situation has changed, because 3 was stupid-slow.

Surely .. SURELY the chap last time should have sent my details over to some bod in the Upgrades team and said, “Look, this chap is ready to spend some cash?”

As it happens, 3’s social media team did their best to connect me, however I was all-over-the-place work wise in the proceeding weeks so didn’t manage to speak to them.

Then Vodafone called out of the blue, offered me an iPad, bang, done.

That money should have gone to 3. If they’d been fast enough. If they hadn’t hamstrung their sales people with these stupid policies.

How STUPID is the 3 sales management team? How STUPID? When your sales people are phoning and I’m saying the equivalent of, “I’d like to give you more money, only not in the configuration in which you expect?”, don’t you think they should be given the opportunity to do business with me?

Isn’t this ridiculous?

At some point I need to re-organise my lines with 3 and that probably means spending more money. Especially when you dangle new stuff in front of me.

So that was a second call from 3 where, due to their own stupid, STUPID service configuration, they can’t help me.

Why didn’t the lady just transfer me to upgrades?

I had no specific intention of dealing with my 3 account this afternoon. It’s been lumbering on. The direct debits come and go. My iPhone 4 is performing fine. I’m still using my 2 broadband accounts with them. I’m reasonably content. Just, I could be up-sold rather dramatically. Since they phoned though, I moved my mindset — I was ready to do business.

Deary me.