‘Android users are peeing in their pants’ — more please, Nokia

It’s a snowball. That’s what you need. You need a snowball of information and opinion, gently gathering pace. Then you need a bit of timely good luck. And before you know it, you’ve got the high ground and everyone around you is left staring as you race away into the distance.

Is Nokia gathering a head of steam?

Quite possibly.

But the team there appear to be working hard to avoid upsetting anyone. They wouldn’t say boo to a goose.

That’s not to say that, when you talk to them individually, they haven’t got assertive and robust opinions (many of them aimed at my posts last week). The problem is the robust and direct opinions — underpinned by factual evidence — are dismissed when the cameras are switched on, in favour of a wane, limpwristed and dull set of talking points.

Only today, speaking to a Nokia chap on camera, I prompted him with the question, ‘And how many active users have you got?’

The chap’s eyes lit up with excitement before he remembered the party line.

‘I can’t answer that,’ he said.

‘Er,’ I said, ‘It’s on the big screen when I came in the door there?’

‘Yes, we don’t talk about that though,’ he responded as his PR minder nodded sagely.

Right.

I was only trying to help by asking a question that would enable the company to puff it’s chest.

The chap, by the way, was yet another example of an eminently capable Nokia executive, tied to the corporate say-nothing-do-nothing-dont-upset-the-apple-cart line.

Contrast that to the widely reported remarks this week from Nokia’s Anssi Vanjoki. As Chris from CNET reports:

In a delightfully expressive commentary on the wisdom of using Android, Nokia’s outgoing chief smartphone person, Anssi Vanjoki, declared that those who use Android are, philosophically speaking, “peeing in their pants” like Finnish boys do to keep warm.

There seemed to be no explanation why it was only boys who perform this peculiarly Finnish ritual. However, he did offer that cell phone manufacturers who use Android are only giving themselves temporary relief, being somewhat blind to the stinging possibility that Android-use will not bring them long-term profits.

What’s brilliant here is that Anssi speaks the truth. Or a version of the truth, depending on your perspective. You can’t argue with the fact that Symbian is reliable. Or that it’s proven, it’s written by serious people with serious beards.

Anssi’s comments were received by a wall of silence in the West. Frankly, the chap has a point. Further, he’s also speaking from experience, given the company still ships a million handsets a day.

And how did TechCrunch, bastion of the double-As (Apple and Android) react? By publishing this:

And they included a rather weird looking mashup video (which includes some of the footage I shot of Anssi back at Mobile World Congress this year).

Is this the best the Android community can do in response to a rather direct, cutting remark from Nokia? Brilliant.

More please Nokia.

Let your team off the leash. Push the snowball. Start talking about all the good news — and start the offensive playing.

It’s been happening, slowly. But we need to see the CEO and every VP getting into the mix. The market will pick up on the energy.

And can’t we have the stuff posted front-and-centre on Nokia.com? 😉