Carphone Warehouse and the effing iPhone
If you get the SMS Text News newsletter you’ll have already read this rant from our friend Alex Meisl at Sponge, but we thought we’d post it again for the rest of the masses. Over to Alex!
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I’ve been a happy user of a E61i for getting on for a year now and like
the fact that it is not a Blackberry and that my large digits can type
with relative ease. However, as I am the only person at Sponge who has not
got up close and personal with an iPhone, the friendly SMS from CPW…”Dear
Alex, you are now due a fantastic phone upgrade. Call Carphone Warehouse
bla bla…..”. Idiot. I fell for it.
Last Monday, I called CPW and upgraded to Steve Jobs’ new creation – it
was to be delivered to my office in Central London the next day between 9
– 5. NOT. At 5.30, I rang and was reassured that it would be with me by
6. NOT. I rang on the Wednesday morning and was told that they tried to
deliver it to the wrong address but it would definitely be with me the
same day as it was on the van. NOT. When I rang Wednesday late afternoon,
I was told that Mr Nixon from my office had refused to accept it. Now, I
know I am getting on a bit and have been known to be forgetful (That’s why
I volunteered to be Chairman), but I am delighted that I can recite the
names of all 30-odd staff and we don’t have a Mr. Nixon working for us.
Cue first sign of Meisl grumps. As I was leaving on holiday for 2 weeks
the next afternoon at 2, CPW swore blind the iPhone would be with me by
10.30 on the Thursday. NOT.
This is when things took a turn for the worse. O2 made the fatal error of
assuming that I had received my iPhone by now and so started the porting
process and cut off my old SIM. I am now 4 hours away from going on
holiday and my bloody phone does not work and my iPhone finds me so
abhorrent that it doesn’t appear to want to make my acquaintance. I spent
two and a quarter hours (on my last day at work….nice) first speaking to
CPW then pulling in some favours with contacts at O2…..joy…..by 5pm (on
way to catch ferry) my SIM is magically working again, I ring O2 again and
they assure me that everything has been resolved….I can soon relax with
some French booze and the shouting matches with CPW/O2 can wait until I
get home. NOT.
The next morning with a full day’s driving ahead (and planning to speak to
a number of clients whilst my wife shares some of the driving), I notice I
have no network coverage. This persists for the whole day. Late Friday
night I finally have network coverage again. HOWEVER it is only over the
weekend that I discover that the port has taken place again and I am now
the unwilling and unwitting owner of a new number. Even worse (and now my
blood pressure starts rising…) my old number is now unavailable to anyone
who tries to call me (sorry SF, SH and SL).
Today I spent a comical 40 minutes on a conference call with CPW and O2.
The first person I spoke to at CPW said “brilliant” 3 times whilst I was
recounting my woes (response: “no it is not f**king brilliant”). I
eventually ended up speaking to someone sympathetic and helpful (step
forward James McSweeney at CPW). This went downhill again when he patched
in O2 to the call and I was told by Linzi that I can’t get my number
working again on my current SIM until I return to the UK (no matter how
high I escalate the matter in O2). Linzi from O2 had not considered a
simple solution which I proposed of making my number live again and
diverting it to my temporary new number. James then blotted his copybook
by explaining that they could reactivate my number by setting up a new
contract but I would then have to “terminate” it by writing to them and
giving one month’s notice.
I now have to wait a further 2 days before my 15 year old phone number is
awoken from its slumbers and is instructed to divert itself to a rubbish
temporary number (assuming CPW and O2’s systems all work together in
harmony)
We keep hearing that manufacturing is dead in the UK but that we should
feel proud as our service industry is so strong…..but that (to use the
exact French word) is simply COUILLONS.
If anyone at CPW or O2 is reading this, I am looking forward to returning
from my holiday where I will be out for blood. You can expect my call and
a claim for wasted time, phone calls and medication on August 12th. A
bientot.
