Green Mobile -- I've got a pained look on my face

Hmm.

I’m not entirely at home to new mobile networks offering to donate 6% of my monthly bill to green causes.

I’d rather not pay the 6% and go and plant some trees.

I’m not being an arse, I genuinely mean I’d rather go and plant some trees myself.

You can find all the details at http://www.greenmobile.co.uk.

I’m always wary when I read a line like ‘market beating rates’. On further investigation, the Green Mobile tariff does stack up nicely against the majors with a 22p/min rate to other mobile networks (compared to the normal 35/40p rates).

I’m sure there will be people to whom this really appeals — however, the mobile market in the UK is a tough nut to crack. It’s a shocker. An absolute shocker. Ask anyone — we’re all price plan experts. Or, at least we generally think we are (just ask your local hairdresser what price plan she uses), so unless you’re coming bearing gifts in the form of free-everything, it’s gonna-be-an-arse.

We all think we’re on a good price plan already, you see.

Aaaaaand if you’re going to give £25 to green charities to get my business, no problem, but, I’m expecting to be given a brand-new top-of-the-range handset into the bargain. Not a reconditioned one.

Like I say, I reckon there will be a few people who will like the concept. I wonder how many though?

And I worry that those who do like it will be your network nobodies — the Z rated customers who’s ARPU is around the 5p a month mark because they ‘keep the phone in the car, just in case’.