"Hello, this is a message about your payment protection insurance"

The landline rang this morning as I was working away at home. I looked at the handset’s battery and saw it had one bar left. Good enough to answer.

I wondered who was calling.

No one has the number.

I answered.

There was a pause whilst the automatic dialler software calling me calibrated itself.

“Hello,” the prompt began, “This is a message about your payment protection insurance…”

I hung up.

I’ve had this about three times.

I didn’t bother to wait to see what tosser of a Marketing Director decided this was a good idea. Spamming folk on their landlines? It might have been effective 10 years ago, but nowadays? Deary me. Deary me.

As I hung up, I paused for a moment to fully appreciate the reality of what just took place. Some company (dodgy or otherwise) decided at some point that this medium was the best way of reaching me.

Or, for ‘best’ substitute the word, ‘only’.

And you know what, I’ve had enough now. I’ll unplug it later on. I need to go downstairs to actually unplug it. But, screw you, telephone marketing idiots.

The world is moving on. Deary me.