Holding my phone with my right hand and my...

I was in the gents facilities at the Radisson this afternoon. Still no internet. BT reckoned all was working well, I disagreed. There’s an engineer coming tomorrow morning.

As I entered the gents and located the urinal I heard some guy chatting loudly. I thought at first he was chatting to a colleague. But no.

The arse was chatting away, doing what seemed like a business call, whilst, as they say here in London, ‘taking a slash’.

What an idiot!

The only free urinal was next to this arse yapping away about third quarter statistics and how he’d be delighted to quote for the next quarter’s business — meanwhile merrily dispensing forth at his urinal. It’s a wonder the audio of this dispending didn’t make it to the listener. Perhaps it did.

I made sure to use the hand dryer for a longer-than-usual amount of time to really try and annoy the person on the other end of the call. How ridiculous to have to continue a conversation (or worse, answer the call) whilst in the middle of, er, discharging!

Is your life that boring that you want the challenge of literally jugling? Or do you want to look busy?

Tell me you don’t do this, right?