How not to buy a Vodafone Nokia N95

So as you know, I was in the Vodafone shop yesterday.

I thought I’d try out what I thought was a rather cool strategy — one that had been simmering in my mind for weeks.

It’s a little known fact that the big five UK networks all offer ‘unlimited’ data usage, usually with a 1-2 gig fair use allowance. Even Vodafone. Their data card packages offer a £45 a month plan, or £95 a month which includes 100 meg international data usge. Very useful if you use data and travel often.

My idea was to combine this package — that £45 a month fee, with a standard £60 price plan. Yes, the negative is that you’re blowing £100 a month before you even get out of bed in the morning. The positive is you’re using what is presumed to be a reliable network.

I thought I’d actually try this out. With a due sense of complete confidence, I swept into the Vodafone store and started questionning the sales assistants.

I’d just confirmed the N95 was in stock, so I thought I’d play with myself [IN THE CONTEXT OF BUYING A VODAFONE SERVICE PACKAGE] and see how crazy I was feeling. Could I seriously commit to £100 a month on Vodafone?

“You know that £45 a month data plan, yes?” I asked.
“Yes, sir,” replied the sales assistant.
“Can you combine that with your standard Vodafone £60 a month price plan?”
“Errrrr,” came the response, “What is it you want to do, sir?”
“Well, I want unlimited data, right? And a normal call plan too.”
“You can’t do that, not until June,” the chap(s) explained.
“Why not?” I asked.
“You just can’t,” came the response.
Hmmm, I was getting less and less impressed, “So I have to blow £3-4 a meg until ‘June’ then?”
“It’s only £2.35 a meg, and yes, June’s when we’ve got new data plans coming,” the guy explained.

I took a step back.

“But hold on, you’re telling me I can have an N95, which has a FIVE megapixel camera, yes… and let’s for the sake of argument, assume that at it’s highest quality, the pictures are three meg each. Not five. Let’s assume they are three meg each. And I want to send one to my mum’s email account… that’s going to cost me….?”

The guy squirmed a little.

“That’ll cost just over 7 quid, right?” I ask.
“Er, yeah,” squeaked the guy.

The sales chap went on to explain that he couldn’t give me their unlimited data tariff AND a call plan. It was one or the other. You can have unlimited data on a SIM, but it can’t have a call plan. Not yet. Not now. Not until June.

That’s just stupid. But again, you can see why. Everyone on the network is currently content paying £2.35 a meg from their handsets. Deary me.

Still, June. There’s stuff happening in June…