Mobiles 'cause hyperactivity in [bored-to-crap] kids'

I’m not sure where I stand on this Telegraph report regarding a 13,000 child study in Denmark. The study’s publishers claim that there’s a link between the use of mobiles by pregnant women and their resulting children being ‘hyperactive’.

Surely that’s entirely, entirely, ENTIRELY subjective? How are you defining hyperactive? And how are you managing the child’s upbringing and development?

If anything, the over-use of mobile phones by mothers will, one imagines, lead directly to 100% bored children who need to be stuck in front of copious DVDs and filled up with McDonalds and chocolate every five minutes to keep them schtum.

Here’s a bit from the article:

A study of more than 13,000 children in Denmark claims to show a link between use of handheld telephones by pregnant women and problems such as hyperactivity in their children.

The risks are increased if the child then uses a mobile themselves before the age of seven, according to the report to be published in the journal Epidemiology.

The study raises renewed questions over the safety of mobile phones, which have in the past been linked with brain cancer.

One of the biggest contributors to hyperactivity as far as I’m concerned are:

1. Stupid parents
2. Bored children
3. Caffeine and sugar

Who knows? I’m not a parent… And if the study is accurate I’m going to have one of the most hyperactive children on the planet every time they come into SMS Text News Towers.

(He writes, staring at the 15+ mobile handsets on his desk)