Of course Phones4U don't care

We all know that the mobile phone retailers are one step away from bandit territory, but it’s usually only when you’re trapped at a party surrounded by 3 exceedingly boring ‘Nigel from accounts’ type people that you get an inkling into just how a lot of these retailers work on the ground. 

You hear horror stories.  Here’s one featuring Phones4U.  I publish it anonymously at the request of the author who is a bigwig in the mobile industry and who was surprised, disgusted and annoyed at how he was treated. 

Thus we begin…….

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SEVENOAKS, KENT.  A few months back with our twin daughters imminently heading off to University, we decided that we should get them a contract phone to give them no excuses for not keeping in touch. After a bit of research, it looked like Phones4U had a bit of a deal going on with Orange. Seemed to check out ok when we quizzed  the 13 yr old sales boy.

Despite my protestations, they both decided they wanted the Moto D&G Razr (truly hideous IMHO). When we went back a few days later to collect the phones and sign the contract, we ended up with a different sales moron. Being a bit of a cynic, I decided to just check that the deal we thought we were getting was the right deal (cos it seemed too cheap to be true to be honest).

‘Oh no, that’s the cost after the cashback that you have to send the bills in for,” she informed us. So that meant instead of £35 a month we would be shelling out £70. ‘And the of course there is the non-optional insurance,” she added. An aside – nothing prepares you for the shock of the cost of sending your little loved ones off to broaden their minds. So now at close to £100, it was no deal.

So the matter was decided, we didn’t want the phones. I should add that the phones were still in their boxes – they had not even seen the light of day. No problem, we will destroy the contract and that will be that.

Imagine our surprise when a few weeks later, a nice bill arrives form Orange welcoming to Orange and thanks for setting up a direct debit etc. A bit surprised, we try call P4U and are told ‘Don’t worry, it’s just a timing thing, just ignore the bill.”  Somewhat doubtful, we decide to accept their version of things and expect that’s the last we will hear about it.

Yeah right, last week another bill form Orange. Back to P4U – ask to speak to the manager. Oh dear he says, this is serious, I’ll have to escalate it to my area manager.

So expecting never to hear back from them, I call Orange and can’t get past the first line of their defences – even though the bills have phone numbers, they aren’t live on Oranges billing system, so the IV system just keeps asking me to enter your Orange phone number…..

Frustrated, I call the only other number on the bill, the sales number. It’s answered within 3 rings. Of course the poor girl is quite confused and keeps asking me if I want to buy a new handset etc. Why would anyone call sales to complain? After a rant about having more people on sales than on support etc, I give up for the night.

Imagine my surprise, when the next day P4U called me. We’ve done what we need to do, can’t do anymore, data protection, etc, etc, you need to call Orange, Thanks for nothing – really worthwhile escalating it to the area manager then!

So knowing I was on hiding to nothing, I tried my luck with the Orange call centre. This time I resorted to a trick I picked up on how to fool IV systems, just keep pressing 0 till you get connected to a real person. This time it didn’t work. So more determined I thought, let’s try #. Success, I’m into the next level. It’s becoming like a game. This time the 0 worked, great I’m into the next level. Mmm – let’s try ‘If you are thinking of leaving Orange”. Great, the phone is answered almost immediately.

Oh no it’s an offshore call centre, how do explain this one! The poor guy can’t understand that we don’t have the phones and we don’t want to leave, we just want to not get any more bills. Of course, since the contracts are in my wife’s name, he can’t do anything (I did, just for a few seconds think of saying that I was my wife.)

He promised to have someone call back, they never did.

So now feeling confident that I could fool their call centre, I tried again. This time I go for ‘lost and stolen handsets”. Great, answered almost immediately. He puts me through to their billing team. Repeat same sorry tale. ‘You mean you don’t have the phones?” he says. He says just to ignore the bill, it will all be sorted out – it’s just a timing thing.

Do I believe it’s fixed?

Nope – no confidence at all. It’s worrying that Orange can’t even deal with the basics. A basic check would tell them that the numbers and the IMEI’s of the phones have never been activated on their network. And how come their front end customer care system is out of sync with their back end billing system? How many people have active phones and don’t receive bills? Do they care about customer care and revenue leakage? Based on this it would appear not.

Went to T-Mobile in the end – now that’s another story.

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There’s quite a few mobile industry gems in this one.  Did you spot them? 

1. The fake prices — telling you it’s £35 a month, for example, when you actually need to spend £70 and then wait and send off bills to get cheques and blah blah blah.  The mobile phone retailers are getting quite adventurous nowadays with this cashback nonsense.
    
2. Orange customer support.  What smartie thought it would be good to lock out anyone who doesn’t have an active mobile number from calling Orange support?  Deary me. 
3. We’ve got your cash.  The apathetic Phones4U response is typical of the industry.  They just set up the contract.  That’s all they care about.  If you cancel, well, that ain’t their problem.  It is their problem though.  This kind of experience reflects phenomenally badly on them.

Do you know what I do if there’s ever an issue like this?  I fax the Chief Executive.  It’s just quicker.  That or call the PR. 

I strongly advise it.  Just look up the CEO’s name and send off a fax with a high level summary together with a bulleted point to-do list so they know what needs fixed.  No need with sob stories. 

If you fax on Monday night, you typically have a director level aide on the phone at 915am Tuesday to apologise and to tell you the matter has been fixed. 

It’s a shame that’s often the quickest way of getting things done. 

Bring on the experiences. 

I’m willing to bet you’ve got an experience similar . Take a few minutes and knock it out and send it to me – ewan@smstextnews.com.  If you’d like it to be anonymous, no problem, just say so in the mail.