Quad-Arse MacLeod and Vodafone in the States

Quad-Arse MacLeod. That’s me.

First arse: I flew out of the British Airways Terminal 5 this morning (Saturday morning, that is). Whilst I was sitting waiting to board, I heard a rather stressed sounding lady continually announcing that (“Er, check-in has, er, closed.”)

It seems that things are pretttttty bad with BA and their newly launched Terminal 5. So bad that they just ‘closed’ check-in. Luckily I was already at the gate waiting to board.

Second arse; About three plane loads of happy, eager Chinese folk had just landed in Los Angeles ahead of my flight. Unfortunately it was taking the immigration people about 75% longer (yes, I counted and calculated, the queues were that long) to process them compared to those flashing a British passport. I stood and read my book in the queue.

Third arse: My luggage wasn’t there. Nowhere to be found. Possibly in London, possibly… who the hell knows.

Fourth arse: Vodafone.

I don’t know WHAT I was thinking. I really don’t. For some reason I thought I was on ‘Vodafone Passport’ when I came to the United States. So I merrily called home after I cleared immigration and debriefed as I walked all the way to Terminal 7 in the pleasant LA sunshine. Then I phoned the BA ‘800’ helpline for reporting lost bags. I hung on for a good 20 odd minutes until… until I got that sinking shock of a feeling. You know the one. The one where you think ‘is this… is this? No, it’s ‘Passport’ right? 75p and my normal rates, yes? Or… let me just quickly do a Google and… oh shit.’

Yes. I’ve been blowing 125p a minute for quite a long time. Chump. YOU TOTAL CHUMP, MACLEOD!

I don’t know WHAT I was thinking.

Well, I thought that America is a first world country (Forgetting that debacle in New Orleans). I also thought that Arooon and his mates OWN Verizon. They OWN it. Vodafone OWNS one of the United States’ biggest networks. Yes it’s CDMA but you know, they OWN it, ergo they sorted out roaming, yes?

No.

So that’ll look good on the bill..

Meantime, I’m pleased to say my Vodafone USB broadband modem is working perfectly (I haven’t had the balls to check what the costs will be yet). Lucky, because the shit-rubbish-crap T-Mobile Wireless Internet has gone ‘Bulgaria’.

My father’s had to travel to Bulgaria regularly for quite a while and he was initially really annoyed (and now delights in telling anyone) about the fact that the best hotel in the city — I think it’s Bulgaria we’re talking about — has wireless throughout the building. Just, the wireless router isn’t actually plugged into an internet connection. So, strictly speaking, the hotel has wireless. It does. Just, no *internet*. Exactly like Terminal 7 at LAX. Thank you Vodafone.

Gahhh.

So no sodding luggage, a hugely expensive Vodafone handset and LUCKILY I brought my iPhone running my 55p/min T-Mobile account. There’s life in the old girl that is the slightly bedraggled T-Mobile, yet.