'She said my good cholesterol is high'

I can’t tell you how effing annoying it is being stuck in a Quiet Zone on a South West Train with a nutcase 50 year old woman nattering away on her mobile.

What should one do?

There are QUIET ZONE signs everywhere throughout the carriage asking people to avoid using mobile phones, not to use personal stereos and the like.

“My guru has told me not to accept it,” she says, “This is why I need to get into more of a centred zone.”

She’s even wearing sandals. Oh dear. She is, she’s telling her friend, “going to the One World Media Awards tonight,” so that’ll be fun, eh?

I thought of glaring at the sign to get her attention. I thought that might work. I thought of nodding to her and then the sign. Perhaps, I thought, I should tap on her arm and ask her if she’d mind shutting up? Could get ‘done’ for assault though, as a result. These are strange times.

Mobile phones. A great invention, but they shouldn’t be abused, especially not when you’re on a train sat opposite a highly stressed mobile blogger…