SMS Text News Live Consultancy on the 2345 to Southend Victoria

I was sat on the train home last night. It was completely packed on account of ‘One’ losing a train. (Yes, my local train network is honestly called ‘One’. What STUPID branding agent came up with that?)

Eventually the 2345 to Southend Victoria left at about 0005. I sat and read the paper whilst everyone around me stuffed their faces with Big Macs and Whoppers. It was that kind of journey.

All was good until a drunk builder chap came through from the other carriage and yelled, ‘Tickets please!’ I stood up to get my ticket……. heh, then I noticed it was a chap in a paint smeared sweatshirt and overalls doing the yelling. Arse 😉

I sat down and continued to read the paper until, alas, the chap came and sat in front of me. It was the only seat left. All is fine until he began to manhandle my jacket which was hung-up against the window. Although clearly a bit sloshed, since there was a good looking girl sat next to me chatting animatedly with her boyfriend, in order to try and get her attention, he quickly decided to play the ‘drunk-commoner’ to my pinstriped ‘businessman’. As the train rocked, my jacket moved toward him now and again — he pushed it away with theatric care.

‘Lovely material,’ he said, as he did so — making the girl next to me chuckle. Now that he’d got a rise out of her, he continued a few more times, until I put down my newspaper, looked him straight in the eyes and asked if he’d like me to move the jacket.

‘Er, yes please guv,’ he replied.

I moved it.

‘What do you do then?’ he asked, still looking at the girl, trying to see if his interactions were still being noted. I explained I was an entrepreneur and that I worked with the internet and mobile.

‘Brickie,’ he said, thumb pointing back to himself. I nodded.

‘Ow does that iPod thing work then?’ he asks, ‘If I buy one, it don’t come with no music on it, right?’

The whole carriage is listening in now, many of them sitting and waiting for this chap to pick a fight (ideally with me) and then begin exploding. However his question was reasonable so I put down my newspaper, sat forward and engaged him.

I explained that you had to use a computer to transfer music to the iPod.

‘I ain’t got no computer mate, ow much is one o’them?’

I can feel the whole carriage visibly wilt, worried if this is about to set the chap off into an argument. But no. I’ve got the make of him and I see he’s genuinely interested in getting an iPod and how the whole thing works. That and he’s had at least 5 pints. He’s still operational though.

I explain that a new computer is £400-600. He exclaims a few expletives. We both knew this was coming. Although I think he thought I was going to say £2,000 or similar.

He’s not going to be buying a computer any time soon, ‘Can’t work the keys mate, me fingers R too big,’ he says, showing everyone his huge Brickie fingers.

I then happen upon an idea: ‘What phone have you got?’ I ask him.

He laughs and brings out a 5 year old Nokia. Sturdy, big keys, just the sort of handset that’s ideal for him.

‘Right! I’ve got a solution for you and we’ve saved you £600 quid, right?’ I tell him.

He’s visibly impressed. The whole carriage is now listening in.

I explain that you can now easily download music to your handset to the phone without having to use a computer.

‘Can you?’ he asks, visibly astonished.

‘Yup. Go into the Vodafone store tomorrow and get them to show it to you. Better still, get yourself to a Three store and have them show you their MusicStore service,’ I tell him.

‘Check out the Sony Ericssons and the Nokias,’ I continue. He asks me to write down the names on a piece of paper for him. I do so.

He’s delighted, ‘Thanks a lot mate!’

I tell him no problem. Nice chap!

My only concern for him was that most of the new handsets nowadays have such small keys — e.g. the Nokia N73. Huge screen. Minature keys!

Now, this experience really made me think. This guy had no computer. He had no interest in buying a computer, or learning how to use one. But he wanted music on an iPod — or, failing that, music on a phone — as I described to him. I was going to write about the Three MusicStore the other day. I downloaded some tracks to test it out and I was slightly disappointed at the quality. Now and again, the compression kicked in and spoilt some of the higher and lower tones in the track. Spoilt? No. It didn’t spoilt it. It was just there. I noticed it. However if I’m honest, it didn’t really spoil the experience. Obviously since the tracks I was downloading were about 1.5 meg in size — and your standard Mp3 music file is, what, 3-4 meg — then, sure, some compression-led quality loss is to be expected.

I was going to do a piece here about how I was slightly disappointed with the Three MusicStore — how I was accustomed to super high quality music on my phone/iPod. No need to write that now. It’s all about serving the right markets — the mass markets. This chap on the train would have been delighted with it, I’m sure. No need to arse around with a computer.