"Svetlana Sucks Lemons": The Orange Cinema Advert

The latest Orange cinema advert is really starting to wind me up. Anything that begins with a woman singing the lyrics, ‘Svetlana sucks lemons across from me,’ has, in my book, got a little too arty for its own good. I kid you not. Seriously. It begins with someone singing about sucking lemons.

Then the Orange Scottish guy enters the fray with a voice over beginning, ‘Heirrrrrrsss ahhh troooo storeeeeeeeee…. mahhh mate…’

The video footage features lots of people apparently having fun because there’s a power cut in New York.

I had a power cut for TWO days last week and I tell you, I was not out in the dark, eating ice cream poncing around shining torches at good looking women smiling waiting to get their hair done — at ANY point across that period.

The we end up with a ‘Sometimes you have to switch off to switch on,’ obviously aimed at asking people to put their phones off for the upcoming film. Good policy, I agree with that. But I think it’s a rather suspect message to tell your customers that they should switch their phones off in order to ‘switch on’….

Anyway, bring back the movie producer guy. Every time the Orange ad comes on, I just have to mentally switch off while that stupid song grates on me.

Just in case you wondered what I’m on about, here are the song lyrics:

Svetlana sucks lemons across from me,
and I am progressing abominably.
And I do not know my own way to the sea
but the saltiest sea knows its own way to me.

The city that turns, turns protracted and slow
and I find myself toeing th’embarcadero
and I find myself knowing the things that I knew
which is all that you can know on this side of the blue

And, for your viewing annoyance, here is the cinema advert: