The pain of the holstered cell phone

12 seconds.

It took me 12 seconds on American soil before I came across someone wearing his mobile phone on a belt holster.

It really, really annoys me.   For a good few years I’ve ‘casually introspected’ in the odd private moment about just WHAT winds me up about it.  The best, most sensible set of explanations I’ve managed to get sound like this:

–  It relegates the handset to ‘tool’ status.  It’s not a hammer.  Other big mobile cultures (I’m thinking Europe) generally frown upon mobile holstering as a result of a more personal connection with their device.  They keep it in their pockets or handbags — closer to their person.

– There’s a degree of show-off-ish-ness that I just don’t like.  Overtly advertising that you’re using a Motorola RAZR isn’t, by any definition at ALL, cool.

–  I don’t like the wannabe-cowboy nature of it.  Just now, sat here in the airport waiting for my transfer, a chap across from me jumped up in delight as his hip vibrated.  He swooped the handset out of it’s holster in a practiced, smooth movement, worthy of Russell Crowe’s baddy in the recent cowboy flick, 3:10 to Yuma.

– The holsters themselves.  Often oversized.  You are either a master tradesman — plumber, electricial or the like (in which case, holster your handset as much as you wish) OR you’re not, in which case, put it in your pocket.

– I hold special annoyance for those holsters that are like little belt pockets.

– The line of the suit. Nothing worse than an executive with a huge Blackberry bulge on his hip.

– Double annoyance, guaranteed:  A phone *IN* a cheapo and torn plastic cover, IN a holster.

– Triple annoyance: Make it a RAZR in a cheapo, torn plastic cover, IN a holster, and my blood pressure shoots off the scale.

I will see how I get on at CTIA.  I think there will be a significant amount of holsters on show.  I will see if I can get some classic demonstration pictures.