Top 10 tell tale signs a clam shell phone is better than a candy bar design mobile

1. When was the last time your arse called three of your ex partners on a clam shell phone

2. Ever tried to close up a candy bar design phone, you can’t – it breaks in two

3. Two screens in one! Better at half the price of two phones

4. Everyone likes shellfish, it’s good for you and clam shell phones make you just want to eat even more

5. There might be a Pearl inside one, hang on .. that’s BlackBerry, sorry

6. Candy bar phones promote eating chocolate by the sheer nature of their design alone; chocolate is bad for you

7. Small and compact is the way forward. Who really wants to go back to those big bulky phones of the early 90s, as that will happen if you don’t use one

8. Just to endorse points ‘4’ and ‘6’ – clam shells come from the goodness of the ocean, candy bars come from Cadbury

9. Answering a call like you’re using a communicator on the StarTrek Enterprise is the coolest thing ever

10. Ending a call like you’re using a communicator on the StarTrek Enterprise is the coolest thing ever, apart from answering one

– thanks LM