Top 10 tell tale signs your phone is on the way out

1. Calls get dropped so much that you’ve taken to using two polystyrene cups and a length of string

2. The megapixel on the camera is so low the very first pin hole camera takes a better shot

3. One of the music formats accepted by the phone is vinyl

4. The phone is so old you have to call the operator to be put through

5. Its dated screen isn’t in monochrome, it’s actually in black and white

6. The mobile’s memory is so tiny, its size is measure in bytes and not megabytes

7. Battery life is so bad on the phone after a full charge it only lasts for one task, receiving a single text message

8. The Y2K bug is still a major threat to the mobile

9. It’s so old there’s a dial on the handset

10. The phone’s address book has only room for one number, and it’s your own