Am I the only person in the UK that would pay a concierge fee to an operator?

I’m about to phone 3UK.

I have to cancel my existing iPhone 4 account. It’s got about 8 months to run and I need to simply pay off the balance and close that account. Because I opened another one to get an iPhone 4S last month. I wanted to extend the existing one, however the chap in the shop (obviously) didn’t want me to do that. Another connection is good news for him, I suppose.

The problem I’ve got is that I need to invest around 20 minutes doing this. Possibly a little longer. I need to explain to the 3UK Indian call centre why I wish to cancel whilst still in commitment. I then need them to process that I am *fine* paying off the balance — I’m concerned, or, at least, my expectations lead me to believe that this will be a big ask for them.

I then expect to have to do the yes-really dance with the various teams there at 3UK’s customer services.

I’ve been putting it off.

I just don’t know if I can be bothered. The inefficiency of it all really bugs me.

Still.

What do you think?

It could be a really simple, pleasant experience. You never know.

This got me thinking.

How much would I be prepared to pay to speak to a British fixer? You know, someone who simply listens to my 10-second request, taps some stuff into the system and tells me, “That’ll be £200 to fix.” I can then respond in the affirmative and be done with it. Job done. Simple. We move on.

I think the answer is £35. Or maybe £25. Something like that. I’d pay a premium to speak to a fully trained British chap or lady who would be available immediately to resolve my query in this particular regard.

Further, I’d probably pay extra per month to have this kind of “consider it done” service integrated into my contract.

Am I alone on this?

No.

On the face of it, probably yes. In reality, if it was branded properly — I would pay something like £5 per month extra to have the 3UK Premier Service that gets you immediate access to an “account manager” who handles everything so you don’t have to think.

What do you think? Have I got my head in the clouds?